My Internal Struggle

Alley has left the building.

And by building, I mean the walk towards a godly life.

Not many of you know, but I go to a community college in good ole’ Mississippi and in a year I will be transferring to Mississippi College. My senior year was focused on being who God wants me to be and to grow in my faith, but once I got to community college, it all seemed to have changed. I was doing great, or so I thought. I have realized how much I rely on other’s encouragement to keep striving for a godly life. Once I got here, I realized how little the people here actually strive to be godly. It diminished me. I have no longer felt the happiness inside when I pray to God or read the bible or listen to KLOVE. It seems as if it disappeared. The reason I told you about MC, is because I feel that when I get there, my faith will grow stronger. The college is built on a godly foundation. I know I am not supposed to just “wait” til’ I am around more people. I know that the fact that there are so little here who “go for God” should inspire me to reach out to those people and build up this generation. Yet, I do not feel inspiration, or happiness, or motivation. I feel nothing. It is hard to keep doing something you feel no emotion in. As much as I have prayed and talked about this, I do not get any emotions still towards Him. It is weird. And I have no idea what to do. So this is me asking for some advice or words of encouragement. Am I the only one? Or is there someone else out there too?

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2 thoughts on “My Internal Struggle

  1. Hey, we all go through seasons like this at one time or another in our lives. Even the strongest of Christians here at MC who seem to have it all together and are on fire for God, have dealt with or will deal with the same things you are going through. My encouragement for you today would be to stay strong and know that things will get better. Until then, keep praying and reading the bible and digging into scripture, no matter how you feel towards it. Our feelings change like the weather, but God’s truth does not. I will be praying for you through this. I love you and I miss you.

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