So I find it funny how the human brain is so smart that it slips things by that YOU don’t even realize. Just until someone points it out. For instance, habits. Whether big or small, we never truly realize how much we do something until someone points it out for us. Before I left for college I was probably one of the laziest people you could ever have met. I would push off cleaning the dishes, even if it was a cup and a plate! Once I got to college, that little sink area was so small that I couldn’t let just one cup sit there because it would get in the way. So I just cleaned my stuff once I was done with it. Then it turned into making my bed every morning, cleaning off my desk, keeping my stuff tidy and in order. It is funny because I would not have done those things at home with my parents there. They would get it. Now that I am on my own though, I realize that it is time to be responsible and do things for myself. Now that I am back home, I find myself keeping up those cleanly habits. I wake up and water my plant, clean whatever dishes are left. I actually cook my food instead of finding something that takes 2 minutes to re-heat. Every now and then it is okay to be a child and let your parents do some things and take care of you, but you also have to learn to be responsible even if it is just cleaning up after yourself. Now it urks me when I leave dishes in the sink for long than an hour. It’s weird, but it makes me realize how my parents feel when I used to leave them there all day. Little habits are sometimes a good thing.
Alley has left the building.
And by building, I mean the walk towards a godly life.
Not many of you know, but I go to a community college in good ole’ Mississippi and in a year I will be transferring to Mississippi College. My senior year was focused on being who God wants me to be and to grow in my faith, but once I got to community college, it all seemed to have changed. I was doing great, or so I thought. I have realized how much I rely on other’s encouragement to keep striving for a godly life. Once I got here, I realized how little the people here actually strive to be godly. It diminished me. I have no longer felt the happiness inside when I pray to God or read the bible or listen to KLOVE. It seems as if it disappeared. The reason I told you about MC, is because I feel that when I get there, my faith will grow stronger. The college is built on a godly foundation. I know I am not supposed to just “wait” til’ I am around more people. I know that the fact that there are so little here who “go for God” should inspire me to reach out to those people and build up this generation. Yet, I do not feel inspiration, or happiness, or motivation. I feel nothing. It is hard to keep doing something you feel no emotion in. As much as I have prayed and talked about this, I do not get any emotions still towards Him. It is weird. And I have no idea what to do. So this is me asking for some advice or words of encouragement. Am I the only one? Or is there someone else out there too?
You know when you stray away from God and then the day that you decide to fix the relationship, everything seems to tumble down on you? I feel like that is happening to me. Yesterday was my first day back at school with my heart and mind set on Jesus. Yesterday was also the day where my patience was being tested, people wouldn’t cooperate, and I just wanted to lock myself into my room and cry. Yesterday was a day gone wrong. God definitely was trying to give me a day to stay strong and stay patient. If any of you guys know me, my patience is not the best. God knows what needs to be worked on in me, and he spent no time wasted yesterday. I did not do what I should have done yesterday. Instead, I let everyone’s words, actions, and drama-filled stories get the best of me and I would get snappy. I feel like I failed.
I prayed about it after I reflected on the day. I prayed that God can continue to work on that part about me. I prayed that God could continue to soften my heart. I prayed that I can be more and more like Him everyday. And I prayed that I would not let worldly things get the best of me.
I felt a lot better after that. I know God has a plan and God has a way for me. I need to develop patience and I need to keep my endurance. I need to follow God’s light and shine that same light wherever I go. I can do this. If others can, I can.
When there is a new year, there are always resolutions, goals, and many shelves full of workout and weight loss things. When I tell you my goals, do not roll your eyes, instead really look at how little they are. I do not set huge goals that I know I cannot achieve.
Do at least 15 minutes of yoga everyday.
I have been doing fantastic with this so far. I love feeling rejuvenated and stretched out for the day. Not to mention, it is a great workout depending on some yoga techniques.
Read one book a month.
I have faith that I can do this because I am an avid reader. I already started on A Separate Piece by John Knowles for the month.
Eat a banana every morning and with a protein shake.
I am doing this now and it’s an easy breakfast and it fills you up too! The protein shake helps with my yoga, alertness, and workouts. Bananas help speed up your metabolism and not to mention, lots of potassium.
Wake up at 5 A.M. every day.
You’re probably looking at the screen like “WHAT? Crazy!”. I assure you it is not that bad. This morning is my second day doing it and I feel more ready to take on the day. I get a lot more done in the morning and it gives me some quiet time since my roommate is asleep. The only sacrifice is staying up late. I have to be in bed by 10. Preferably asleep but, we’ll be getting to that point as long as I keep waking up at 5 A.M.
Study at least one hour a day.
They say one hour in itself is a major help. Why not try it for this semester?
Drink 3 bottles of water a day.
I tend to drink 2, but with this goal adding another helps me big time.
There you go.
Those aren’t far-fetched are they? I don’t think so. If you set small goals for yourself every month, every week, every day, you will see a major improvement because those are easier to achieve than saying, “I will lose 40 pounds by June”. That can be far-fetched.
So I know everyone is on Christmas break. Student-wise. I remember experiencing finals week and thinking to myself, “Man, I cannot wait to catch up on sleep and do absolutely nothing on break”. That’s what I did. At least for the first few days. I slept all day it seemed. I can’t even tell you what I did those first few days because I do not remember. I was asleep half the time. But, after I caught up on sleep, those next few days I started doing things because I always get bored and agitated if I am not up and doing something. I guess it is because I am so used to doing things when I am at school. I have two jobs and I am in 4 different clubs while juggling classes and a social life. Busy bee, that’s me. That’s not the point though, the point is is that I actually felt happy being able to read a book for once or even watch an episode or two of Grey’s Anatomy. Why? Because I haven’t done anything for ME in a while. This Christmas break, I learned that despite life’s heavy work load and crazy situations, I still need to find time for me.
Also, I made a new friend as Christmas break started to appear. My guy friend, (we’ll call him Sam for certain purposes) Sam helped guide me back to Christ. As college started, I started to struggle with maintaining a relationship with Christ. I started losing “relax” time due to how busy I am and I started to think reading the bible, praying, and worshiping Him was more of a job than a natural thing. So I started to stray from Him. I started doing things MY way because I wanted to control my life. I wanted to already know what was going to happen in my future. But Sam showed me how it is impossible for me to know my own future when God has control. I might not want to accept that God has control, but He ultimately does. I can think I am controlling my life all I want, but those curveballs? Those are God’s doing to show me that I am not the ruler of my life. If I was the ruler of my life, I would be a very unhappy person because I’d focus all my time on my future and not me in present time working to achieve my future goals. Sam showed me that as hard as it is to open up and be real with God and others, it heals you. It heals you because God’s presence and listening ear is comforting enough. You feel an immediate satisfaction getting your problems off your chest. The other thing I learned this Christmas break, is to make time for God just like I would make time for myself. It won’t be that hard once I get used to it.
So last night I found out a friend of mine is engaged. I started to cry. I am so extremely happy for her and to know she is going to have a dream wedding and marriage is so exciting.
Wonder why I am freaking out?
I have had a selfish heart lately and a cold one too. I haven’t had much sympathy for others like I should and I haven’t shown God’s love. I have noticed it and it hit me more when I was actually happy and excited for my friend. To know I am not some horrible person, but that I need more of Jesus. He softens my heart. At that moment I realized how real Christ’s love really is. It is weird how something like a friend’s engagement had to make me realize it in that moment, but God used that announcement as a wake up call for me. I have strayed so far from God and I haven’t really recognized the blessings and the love He has poured out to me.
This might be important too.
My friend and her boyfriend have such a strong Christ-centered relationship. When I met my friend, she was instantly a burst of sunshine. She naturally makes you happy. Just her presence alone. She is so full of God’s love that it is never-ending. She shows people the same love God shows us. Her boyfriend is so supportive and they both encourage each other in the faith. That is why their relationship is so awe-inspiring. It is like a Nicholas Sparks love story. And to know a love like that exists, gives me hope.
God gives us a heart like hers when we just accept Him into our lives. It is just so amazing to know God can make you feel so energized and full of love when you have Him in your life.
Inspirational read and really gets me thinking about my actions.
I want to be all the things.
If I am given a space to simply breathe and be completely honest then that’s the truth I choose to share: I want to be all the things.
I want to be a friend. I want to be a good friend. I want to be a best friend to every little human I encounter. I want to be a sister. A daughter. A girlfriend. A wife.
I want to be the person who gets called at two in the morning. I want to be the one who shows up at the door with coffee and a heart that is just ready and amped for whatever truth you want to let sit square in the middle of the kitchen table. I want to take people as they are. I want to hold people as they come.
I want to be the mysterious one— the…
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So I just have a quick question! Should I make videos for my blog as well? They wouldn’t be everyday, but they would be frequent. Comment below and let me know! 🙂
Not a lot of people want to hang out with their friends unless they are out doing something….whether it is bowling, eating, coffee dates, etc. The true intimate moments are when you guys are not doing something. Usually when you guys are sitting there, not doing anything. You are forced to talk….and after a bit of chit chat….it leads to the hopes, fears, and dreams of the person, and it gets deeper and deeper. That is the true beauty of friendships; when you are talking and communicating and learning about that person. Your friendship grows that way.
Last night, we all went out to eat at Applebee’s and of course, pigged out. We all were trying to figure out where we were going to go afterwards and what to do, but Emily needed her cigarettes so we just drove back to her car so she could smoke. We ended up sitting in the parking lot for an hour, talking, goofing off, etc. And? I honestly had a lot of fun just sitting there and talking. It was very relaxed and we were all getting closer as friends. So, now I realize, I do not need to always go out with my friends. Sitting there and just relaxing is just as fun as going to see a movie, karaoke, etc.