My Internal Struggle

Alley has left the building.

And by building, I mean the walk towards a godly life.

Not many of you know, but I go to a community college in good ole’ Mississippi and in a year I will be transferring to Mississippi College. My senior year was focused on being who God wants me to be and to grow in my faith, but once I got to community college, it all seemed to have changed. I was doing great, or so I thought. I have realized how much I rely on other’s encouragement to keep striving for a godly life. Once I got here, I realized how little the people here actually strive to be godly. It diminished me. I have no longer felt the happiness inside when I pray to God or read the bible or listen to KLOVE. It seems as if it disappeared. The reason I told you about MC, is because I feel that when I get there, my faith will grow stronger. The college is built on a godly foundation. I know I am not supposed to just “wait” til’ I am around more people. I know that the fact that there are so little here who “go for God” should inspire me to reach out to those people and build up this generation. Yet, I do not feel inspiration, or happiness, or motivation. I feel nothing. It is hard to keep doing something you feel no emotion in. As much as I have prayed and talked about this, I do not get any emotions still towards Him. It is weird. And I have no idea what to do. So this is me asking for some advice or words of encouragement. Am I the only one? Or is there someone else out there too?

January Goals

January Goals

         When there is a new year, there are always resolutions, goals, and many shelves full of workout and weight loss things. When I tell you my goals, do not roll your eyes, instead really look at how little they are. I do not set huge goals that I know I cannot achieve.

Do at least 15 minutes of yoga everyday.

I have been doing fantastic with this so far. I love feeling rejuvenated and stretched out for the day. Not to mention, it is a great workout depending on some yoga techniques.

Read one book a month.

I have faith that I can do this because I am an avid reader. I already started on A Separate Piece by John Knowles for the month.

Eat a banana every morning and with a protein shake.

I am doing this now and it’s an easy breakfast and it fills you up too! The protein shake helps with my yoga, alertness, and workouts. Bananas help speed up your metabolism and not to mention, lots of potassium.

Wake up at 5 A.M. every day.

You’re probably looking at the screen like “WHAT? Crazy!”. I assure you it is not that bad. This morning is my second day doing it and I feel more ready to take on the day. I get a lot more done in the morning and it gives me some quiet time since my roommate is asleep. The only sacrifice is staying up late. I have to be in bed by 10. Preferably asleep but, we’ll be getting to that point as long as I keep waking up at 5 A.M.

Study at least one hour a day.

They say one hour in itself is a major help. Why not try it for this semester?

Drink 3 bottles of water a day.

I tend to drink 2, but with this goal adding another helps me big time.

Boom.

There you go.

Those aren’t far-fetched are they? I don’t think so. If you set small goals for yourself every month, every week, every day, you will see a major improvement because those are easier to achieve than saying, “I will lose 40 pounds by June”. That can be far-fetched.

Been Gone for Jesus

Learning

Yes, I know, it has been way to long since I have posted. Sorry for the wait if any of you guys were waiting. First things first…..I was gone for Jesus. Sounds funky, huh? Well, I attended Centrifuge which is an amazing camp. It is a church camp which focuses on you learning about Jesus without pushing it. I got to participate in tons of crazy fun activities and learn about Jesus. I definitely learned a lot in that one week I was there. I am just glad I was able to have more questions answered and able to grow in my love for Christ. I also came to the realization that I want to be a Centrifuge staffer when I hit 20 years old! I feel like that would be the perfect summer job for me! It has great benefits too. Next year, I get to be a leader when the youth goes. I am sooooo excited! I get to actually sit back and watch the kids learn and grow right in front of me! After Centrifuge I had to work some orientations for my college and that was a crazy rewarding experience. I got to learn more about my school and help others figure out what to do, where to go, etc. I even made sure it was fun 😉 I have also been able to grow closer to my other team members. Tomorrow I have to work another one and I am genuinely excited about it.

Lately I have had a mishap happen. My roommate, Ashton, texted me and told me that she was not going to be attending the college anymore, therefore, I need to find another roommate. She said she would keep her spot in the room until I could find one. She was not mean about it. She just saw a different future for herself. So here I am freaking out about not finding a roommate because it is so late in the summer and everyone I know has already contacted their roommates. I was extremely nervous about having some random person getting thrown off the waiting list and into my room. Well….today, Ashton texted me and asked if I found one yet and I had to tell her no. She texted back immediately and told me “Thank goodness because I decided to stay”. UM. HELLO. I am one happy camper!!!!! All stress was taken away from me in that moment and the only person I knew I needed to thank was God. He definitely blessed me in that moment. He made that work together for my good!

On that note, I am going to go and read my new book. Bye everyone 🙂